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Subject-verb agreement

Coherence & Cohesion

8.0
Band Score+1.0 Improvement
Vocabulary Upgrade
Original
The impact was very big.
Recommended
The impact was substantial.

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1Step 1

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2Step 2

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Sample Answer

OriginalFeedbackImproved Essay
In the contemporary era, technological advancements have transformed our means of communication, entertainment and traditions, which is causing slow dying of arts.1

While it is widely debated that government should reduce investing on the arts due to its lack of tangible benefits, others contend that investing in sciences generates higher revenue and has positive impact on the economy.2

Arts showcase numerous intagible benefits ranging from overall wellbeing to tourism to commerce.

Thus, I strongly believe that a right balance between investing in arts and sciences is essential for governments.3

To begin with, arts help understand the evolution of native cultures and traditions, which form the basis for our knowledge and perceiving the world.

It is evident since time immemorial that humans practiced art on walls of caves to communicate history and survival tactics.

Sentence 1 - Feedback

Original

"In the contemporary era, technological advancements have transformed our means of communication, entertainment and traditions, which is causing slow dying of arts."


Task Response
Incomplete prompt response
💡

The opening frames the essay around technology rather than the actual prompt (government spending).

In the contemporary era, debate has intensified over whether governments should continue to fund the arts, or redirect that money to areas with more measurable returns.

Coherence & Cohesion
- no issues
Lexical Resource
Awkward collocation
💡

"Slow dying of arts" is awkward. A native phrasing would use a noun like "decline" or "demise".

... which is causing a gradual decline of the arts.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Noun error
💡

Missing article — "slow dying of arts" should be "a slow decline of the arts".

... which is causing a slow decline of the arts.

3Step 3

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Band 9 Vocab
6.0
To begin with, arts help understand the evolution of native cultures and traditions, which form the basis for our knowledge and perceiving the world.
9.0
To begin with, the arts are inseparable from cultural identity. They allow us to understand the evolution of native traditions, which in turn shape our knowledge and our perception of the world.
4Step 4

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Interactive Sample Reports

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Prompt
OpinionArt

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

6.5/9.0
Overall Band Score
Words275
Paragraphs4

How your essay is scored: benchmarked against 15,000+ real examiner-graded essays across all four criteria.

Sample Answer

In the contemporary era, technological advancements have transformed our means of communication, entertainment and traditions, which is causing slow dying of arts.1click for feedback
Whilst it is widely debated that government should reduce investing on the arts due to its lack of tangible benefits, others contend that investing in sciences generates higher revenue and has positive impact on the economy.2click for feedback
Arts showcase numerous intagible benefits ranging from overall wellbeing to tourism to commerce.
Thus, I strongly believe that a right balance between investing in arts and sciences is essential for governments.3click for feedback
To begin with, arts help understand the evolution of native cultures and traditions, which form the basis for our knowledge and perceiving the world.
It is evident since time immemorial that humans practiced art on walls of caves to communicate history and survival tactics.
Furthermore, arts enhance the creativity of young minds to explore beyond their traditional education.4click for feedback
In addition to that, adults who practice some form of art regularly are less prone to high stress levels.5click for feedback
Physical forms of art such as classical dance and theatre improve pyhsical fitness and create a sense of belonging.
Moreover, tourism from arts generates high revenue and increase overall gross domestic product of the economy.
A pertinent example of the same is high visit to Kerala by foriegners to practice ayurvedic massage, learn local cuisine, and master folk arts.
This is also illustrated in Bhutan where major portion of revenue in the country is generated through tourism
To summarize, arts are important for nations to promote and perserve their traditions and cultures, which in turn positively impact mental and physical well being as well as generate wealth.
Therefore, governments must contine spending budget on arts.6click for feedback

Task Response feedback (6)

1Incomplete prompt response

In the contemporary era, technological advancements have transformed our means of communication, entertainment and traditions, which is causing slow dying of arts.

💡Opening reframes the topic as technology vs arts rather than the funding question.

In the contemporary era, governments face growing pressure to justify how public funds are allocated, and some argue that spending on the arts diverts money from more pressing priorities.

2Incomplete prompt response

Whilst it is widely debated that government should reduce investing on the arts due to its lack of tangible benefits, others contend that investing in sciences generates higher revenue and has positive impact on the economy.

💡Introduces 'sciences' as the contrast, which the prompt never mentions.

Whilst some maintain that the government should reduce arts funding because it yields few tangible benefits, others insist that this expenditure is more than justified by its wider returns.

3Unclear position

Thus, I strongly believe that a right balance between investing in arts and sciences is essential for governments.

💡Thesis pivots to a 'balance' between arts and sciences, blurring the agree/disagree stance.

Thus, I strongly disagree with the view that arts funding is wasteful, as the cultural and economic returns clearly justify continued public investment.

4Underdeveloped idea

Furthermore, arts enhance the creativity of young minds to explore beyond their traditional education.

💡Claim about creativity is asserted but not developed with reasoning or example.

Furthermore, the arts enhance the creativity of young minds, encouraging children to think laterally and approach academic problems in original ways that a purely traditional education rarely fosters.

5Underdeveloped idea

In addition to that, adults who practice some form of art regularly are less prone to high stress levels.

💡Stress benefit stated without explanation or evidence.

In addition, adults who practise some form of art regularly tend to experience lower stress levels, as creative expression offers a healthy outlet for emotion and a means of relaxation.

6Weak conclusion judgement

Therefore, governments must contine spending budget on arts.

💡Final judgement ignores the 'balance with sciences' thesis, leaving the position inconsistent.

Therefore, far from being wasteful, government spending on the arts should continue, as it delivers clear cultural, social and economic returns.

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