IELTS Writing Task 2: A Band 8.0 Essay (Relationships Over Wealth), Graded

In the contemporary era, advances in technology and artificial intelligence have caused many people to spend most of their time on screens rather than engaging in face-to-face social interactions. Even children are increasingly affected by this trend. Whilst technological progress bolsters living standards, we still need deep social connections and support from our well-wishers to achieve happiness. Thus, I strongly believe that achievements and accolades at work or mere accumulation of wealth don’t lead to a satisfied life.

To begin with, workplaces inherently promote peer competition, which contributes to stressful lives and lower overall wellbeing. A pertinent example is seen in Japan, where individuals value community bonds and social connection over professional growth, possibly resulting in the highest longevity across all nations. Another parallel example is Bhutan, which has deliberately prioritized Gross National Happiness (GNH) over GDP, implementing policies that emphasize cultural preservation and community engagement, which correlates with high reported life satisfaction rate. Unfortunately, this is not something that either work or wealth can simply provide. Thus, it’s clear that social bonds and human connection are essential for a meaningful and fulfilling life.

In addition, humans achieve equilibrium when they receive love and support from their family and friends. For instance, research demonstrates that individuals with strong familial support report higher levels of satisfaction. This emotional reassurance, which is offered by those we hold dear, cannot be replaced by any amount of popularity or prosperity. Consequently, it is quite evident that professional success or popularity cannot compensate for the absence of familial bonds.

To summarize, while work and wealth are necessary for meeting basic needs, only genuine human connections and emotional support from loved ones can deliver true happiness and fulfillment. Therefore, investing time and energy in family and friendship networks yields substantial returns in terms of personal well-being.